Sunday Evening Bible Study

December 24, 2000

What do you want for Christmas?

Illustration

Dear Santa

This is an essay by the humorist W. Bruce Cameron. (Copyright 2000 W. Bruce Cameron http://www.wbrucecameron.com/ )

My son and Santa Claus have been pen pals every Christmas since he first learned to write.  Traditionally, letters to Saint Nick are stuffed in the stockings hanging over the wood stove we call our “fireplace,” and are answered via the same mysterious process that allows the jolly old elf to descend down a six-inch stove pipe every Christmas Eve.  Here is this year’s exchange:

Dear Santa:

For Christmas this year I would like a guinea pig.  I have other stuff I want, but I wanted to get the guinea-pig request in early.

Signed, the Best Boy in the World

Dear Best Boy:

You are not getting a guinea pig.   Are you forgetting what happened to the goldfish you had, and also to the mice you were given for your birthday? Please ask for something reasonable, like a new rake to help your father in the yard.  That request I can fill immediately.

Dear Santa:

Well the directions never said you can’t take goldfish into the bathtub with you so how was I supposed to know?  And the thing with the mice was not my fault, it was the cat’s fault.

I also want a go-cart.

Dear Pet Boy:

Surely you knew that sitting on the fish would not be good for them.  And I hardly think the cat can be blamed for its instinctive pursuit of the mice once you left the cage door open.  I’m sorry, but you may have no more rodents, and that’s final.

Regarding your new request:  You have already demonstrated an unnerving tendency to succumb to the gravitational pull of the earth, hurling yourself headfirst off of your bicycle and your skate board.  A go-cart would merely accelerate this process.  How about instead of a go-cart you get a wheelbarrow to help haul the leaves you’ll be raking.

Dear so-called Santa:

A guinea pig is not a rodent, it is a member of the pork family.

How about you get me a little trailer for my go-cart and I’ll haul leaves in that.

Plus I also want a drum set.

Oh, and I think you should know, my dad is not using the exercise bike you got him last Christmas.  I guess it goes against his instinctive pursuit of getting fat.

Dear Drummer Boy:

No pigs of any kind, including those related to rats.  No catapulting yourself headfirst from a go-cart into the emergency room.  No banging on drums, or doing anything to create any noise except the sounds of yard work.

And your father is planning on starting his exercise program just as soon as his schedule settles down.

Dear Saint Nick Picker:

Well excuse me for thinking that Christmas was for something besides better homes and gardens.

If I can’t have a go-cart, I want a snowmobile.

Oh, and I think you’d better take another look at my dad:  All he has on his schedule is watching TV and drinking (root) beer.  If he settles down any more, he’s going to slide off of his chair and onto the floor.  Mom says the only way to tell that he’s still alive is by his belches.

Dear Incorrect Boy:

Your father works hard and occasionally takes in a game on TV to relax. There is nothing wrong with this.

And a snowmobile?  Are you crazy?  Not only are they dangerous, do you have any idea how much a snowmobile costs?  Please pick something affordable.

Dear Santa Flaws:

Well why do you care what it costs?  I thought you had a bunch of dwarfs working for you who built everything in your workshop.

If I can’t have a guinea pig I want a monkey.

Dear Boy:

A monkey?  You cannot have a monkey.

Dear Chris Crumple:

I’m the only kid in my school without a pet.

But Son,

I refuse to believe anybody in your school has a monkey.  It is illegal.

Dear Santa Laws:

Well then can I have a guinea pig?

Dear Son:

Well... we’ll see.

Isn’t this what we think Christmas is all about?  Presents?  How to get that one present we’ve had our eyes on?

What do you want for Christmas?  Just what is this Christmas thing all about?

Visitor to planet earth

If you were from another planet visiting the earth, and you spent time at the movies, you might get the idea that Christmas is supposed to be about being nice, spending time with your family, sitting around the fireplace with snow outside, heart-warming kinds of stuff.

Or, if you ventured outside the theater, you’d get the idea that Christmas is all about being busy, fighting traffic, pushing through crowds in stores, spending lots and lots of money, and getting lots of presents.

Gifts are appropriate.

Yet, in a way, the idea of gift giving is quite appropriate for the holiday of Christmas.

The very thing that we celebrate at Christmas is a gift.  I don’t mean the gifts that the wise men brought Jesus.  I’m talking about the real gift, Jesus.

The meaning of Christmas is really all about how God gave His Son to the world.

(John 3:16 KJV)  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

What would “loving the world” have to do with “giving His Son”?

God understood that His children on earth have had a tremendous problem.  They sin.  They rebel against God.  Our rebellion has kept us from knowing God.  In order to solve this problem, God did the one thing He needed to do to take our sin away and restore our relationship with Him.  God sent His Son to the earth in order to become a sacrifice to pay for our sins.  Jesus died on a Roman cross for the purpose of solving the problem of our sin.  God gave His Son so that we could come to know God.

At Christmas, we celebrate that point in time when God gave His Son to the world, as a baby being born in Bethlehem.

Open the present

And now God offers to us this most incredible of gifts.  He offers us a chance to know and love Him in an intimate relationship.  But like all gifts, the gift is of no value to you until you accept it.  Just like a present sitting under your Christmas tree, God offers to you complete forgiveness.  But the question tonight is, are you going to open that present?

What do you want for Christmas?

Religious nonsense

This may all sound like a bunch of religious nonsense to you.  You may have come here tonight thinking that you were going to give in to the pressure of a friend or family member and do your token little “religious” thing and go to church.  But God doesn’t want to make your conscience feel better by doing religious nonsense.  He wants you to know Him.

Birthday party

Illustration

Suppose a bunch of people were invited over to your house for your birthday party.  And they all showed up to play party games, eat ice-cream, and do lots of “birthday” kinds of things.  But as the party progresses, you realize that nobody is talking to you.  In fact, nobody seems to realize that you’re even there.  It’s your birthday, but they’re only at your house for themselves, not for you.

God doesn’t want you here so you can do your “religious” thing.  He wants you to KNOW HIM.  He wants to become a part of your life.

Light.

When you open your heart to Jesus, He will bring light into your life.  He will bring understanding into your life.  It’s kind of like lighting a candle in your heart, and things that were dark and shadowy are now filled with light.

God wants to give you a gift.  The most important gift in the world, the gift of knowing God.